Why the "Person of Your Dreams" is Keeping You Single
The "person of your dreams" mindset often creates an impossible standard that leads to chronic dissatisfaction.
The Myth of the "Person of Your Dreams"
We have been conditioned by fairy tales and romantic comedies to believe that there is a "perfect" person out there waiting to be found—a soulmate who fits every criteria on our subconscious checklist. While the idea is romantic, the reality is that the "person of your dreams" is exactly that: a dream. ### The Problem with the "Perfect Fit"
When we search for a dream person, we aren't looking for a partner; we are looking for a fantasy. This mindset assumes that a relationship is a puzzle where you just have to find the piece that fits perfectly into your life. In reality, healthy relationships aren't "found"—they are built.
The "person of your dreams" mindset often leads to:
The "One Flaw" Exit: Dismissing great people over minor imperfections because they don't match the "dream" image.
Passive Dating: Waiting for destiny to deliver a partner rather than developing the skills (communication, empathy, vulnerability) needed to sustain a connection.
The Comparison Trap: Comparing a real, complex human being to an idealized version of a person that doesn't actually exist.
Shifting the Focus: Compatibility over Perfection
The goal of a discovery assessment isn't to find a unicorn; it’s to understand your own values, attachment style, and non-negotiables. Success in love isn't about finding someone who is "perfect"; it’s about finding someone whose mess matches yours and who is willing to do the work alongside you.
Bottom Line: By letting go of the "person of your dreams," you open yourself up to the person of your reality—someone who is flawed, beautiful, and capable of a depth that a fantasy could never offer.
