The Secret to a Happy Relationship: It’s Not What You Think
Consideration is often the unsung hero of a happy relationship. It isn't about grand, expensive gestures; it is the daily habit of thinking about your partner’s feelings and needs before you act.
While romance is a feeling, consideration is a choice. It shows your partner, every single day, that their happiness is your priority.
What Real Consideration Looks Like
Consideration goes deeper than just being polite. It is love in action.
Anticipate, Don't Just React: Don't wait for your partner to ask for help. If you know they had a hard day, tidy the kitchen or start dinner before they get home.
Put Yourself in Their Shoes: Empathy is key. If your partner is a light sleeper, be quiet in the morning. If they are introverted, skip the loud party.
Respect Their Limits: Give your partner what they need, not what you want. If they need quiet time after work, give them space rather than demanding attention immediately.
Sweat the Small Stuff: Small acts carry big weight. Saving the last cookie, filling up their gas tank, or putting away laundry tells them, "I see you, and I want you to be comfortable."
The Cost of Being Inconsiderate
When consideration is missing, a relationship slowly drains away.
Resentment grows: The partner doing all the thinking feels like a parent or caretaker, not an equal.
Safety disappears: If one partner constantly overlooks the other's comfort, the neglected partner stops feeling safe or prioritized.
Fighting increases: When basic needs are ignored, the neglected partner has to ask repeatedly (e.g., "Pick up your socks"). This turns into "nagging" and causes constant conflict over small issues.
How to Be More Considerate
Consideration is a muscle you can build. Here is how to practice it:
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Ask yourself once a day, "What is my partner dealing with?" and "What is one small thing I can do to make their day 1% easier?"
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Before making plans or spending money, ask, "How will this affect them? Will they feel supported or stressed?"
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Even if you don't understand why they need the pillows arranged a specific way, honor it. Respecting their preferences shows you respect them.
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If your partner complains about dishes in the sink, don't get defensive. See it as a request for help and consideration.
The Bottom Line: Consideration turns a relationship from a selfish arrangement into a team effort. It is the clearest way to say, "I respect you."
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